Ever since I could remember, I’ve always been a person that over analyzes everything. I’ve analyzed other people, places, and most often, myself. I think I overanalyzed myself so much that I’ve kind of started to become a perfectionist and even a little insecure with myself, with wanting to be perfect at everything. But I have come to realize that overlooking everything has actually made me miss the one thing that I never noticed before.
It all happened during my sophomore year when I started to go through a personal breakdown. I was feeling really overwhelmed and restless. I felt like I was just being overworked but at the same time trapped in a cage, away from t he rest of the world. It was as if I was a balloon that got the air sucked out of it; Lifeless and empty. I would go on day by day holding in all my thoughts and feelings, until one day I couldn’t take it anymore. I just had to tell someone so I told my mom that I thought maybe I was depressed and at first she was a little shocked but then, she just talked it over with me. And we both tried to figure out what the cause was for me being depressed. And for a while we couldn’t come to any conclusions until we broke it all down and realized that me feeling depressed was because I was over thinking so much about why I didn’t really have a father in my life, and why it had to happen to me . So basically all of the hurt and pain just built up inside me and finally I couldn’t take it anymore and cracked.
And after I realized that he was the reason for all my frustration, my first instinct was to resent him forever but as I started to think about it I realized that even though he didn’t really play a father role in my life, he has made me stronger by not being there. And he has also helped me to grow up, because if I never had to go through all this confusion and pain, I would have never been as strong as I am today. I finally feel that I am slowly becoming content with who I am, even though their will always be that part of me that I feel that I’m missing. It will never stop me from being who I am and want to be.
As I went through this life changing experience I have come to believe that everything that I have encountered in life was supposed to happen to me; even if it was good or bad. Going through the hardships and pain in life is just part of the journey of life. And I feel that it truly is all fate.
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Hey Marissa,
ReplyDeleteGood job on getting essay done. Your essay was very interesting to read. The line that got me hooked was “It was as if I was a balloon that got the air sucked out of it; Lifeless and empty “that was the perfect line. I see how your I believe statement is believing in fate because a lot of your problems and events that happen in your life is all up to chance and nothing is planned and how you were saying everything happens for a reason is true in your life. I don’t know but when I read your essay I feel as if your missing a very important part but I don’t know what it is, maybe you should talk more about those fate situations with your dad. Other than that revise it and good job
-Deshhha
Hey Marissa,
ReplyDeleteYour essay was interesting to read. To me you it looked you weren't that type of girl to get overwhelmed or restless. What really caught my eye was when you said "It was as if I was a balloon that got the air sucked out of it; Lifeless and empty", (just like desha). I think you have nothing much to change, your essay is VERY good. Check with your grammar and spelling and your all good! :)
-Thea Marie